In France, it’s time to get into the pool Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
PARIS: I started swimming in Paris in 2003, shortly after an orthopedic surgeon in New York viewed my X-rays and told me I had the knees of a 65-year-old.
That might have been good news for someone in her golden years, but for a woman just tipping into her 40s, the diagnosis was bleak. I had been running for the past year in the verdant expanses of the Bois de Boulogne, the former royal hunting ground filled with tree-lined paths bordering lakes dotted with ducks. But every footfall now sounded the death knell for whatever articular cartilage remained nestled between my femurs and my tibias.
I cant blame France for my knees; much damage had already been done on U.S. soil before my move. But running was the easiest way to exercise in Paris and I was stymied about what to do instead. Parisians are generally slim and fit, but as far as I could tell, that was a matter of genetics and their admirable disinclination to eat between meals. The citys gyms are cramped and expensive, featuring shrill, high-impact aerobic classes that peaked in the United States more than a decade ago. Besides an occasional liaison amoureuse, the French seemed to limit their physical exertions to slipping on sunglasses at outdoor cafйs.
However, my orthopedic surgeon had warned against inertia, and I found that without my forays into the Bois I was withdrawing from the French world around me. So I decided to swim.
Like most Americans brought up in the suburbs, I could whip off a lap or two. Not tremendously well - the butterfly and flip turn were skills I had never acquired - but I had clocked enough time playing “Marco Polo” and diving for pennies to feel comfortable in chlorine.
Those remotely nostalgic associations pushed me in the direction of the municipal pool closest to my apartment on the western edge of the city. The pool, Piscine Henry de Montherlant, was named after a noted French essayist and academician; to my rah-rah American ears, that sounded pretty low-impact.
Thats not to say swimming а la franзaise isnt stressful. First off, men need to squeeze into skimpy Speedos. Theres no bending that rule, and it applies to all of the citys 37 municipal pools. The reason most often given is hygiene: There should be nothing worn into the pool that could conceivably have been worn elsewhere, like boxer shorts or Bermudas. No matter the genesis, the Speedo is de rigueur for men - and, to add insult to injury, so is a bathing cap.
But you really cant get much closer to the French than when brushing up against their bare skin. That happens often in Paris pools, especially if youve got a guy sprawled on his back ahead of you in the “lap lane,” flinging his arms lazily to propel himself forward. I imagine that, in the cutthroat pools of U.S. cities, where every lane seems like a racing lane, a militant lifeguard would intervene. But in Paris, swimming is a relative term. Here the lifeguards, known as maоtres nageurs, simply sit back in their folding chairs and watch the goings-on as if they were beachside in St. Tropez.
Admittedly, swimming during a workweek lunch hour is the same in Paris as anywhere; a pool full of professionals trying to cram in a workout before wolfing down a ham and cheese sandwich on the way back to the office. But at the busiest times, a politesse still hovers over the pool like the smell of chlorine. There is the occasional bumping of heads, an inadvertent swipe of an errant hand on a neighbors leg. But a simple “je suis dйsolйe” or “excusez-moi,” uttered from behind foggy goggles, is enough to keep ripples to a minimum.
It took me a while, but once I had corralled my instinctive irritation at the leisurely head-above-the-water breaststrokers, and stopped my eye-rolling at young women who come to “exercise” in string bikinis, I discovered that my piscine was a pretty wonderful place, and not for the reasons I had expected. Yes, the swimming kept my knees fit, but what was even better was the glimpse into French society that had evaded me on dry land.
One Saturday morning, a pack of strapping, young firemen parked their fire truck outside the pool, changed into bikini bottoms, and spent 30 minutes racing splashily across the pool when I was the only other person in it. Ive shared the unisex locker room with a young priest who arrives carrying a backpack and bike helmet, his clerical collar visible beneath a red down jacket. He changes in one of the stalls and emerges in a tiny black suit, his broad-shouldered, tapered physique worthy of a Chippendales dancer.